Extraordinary Rendition

Once you have been translated into Dutch, things begin to move very quickly.

Last night I staggered home from prodigious celebration to find that Dr. Matthew Hussey, Secretary of Translation and Rendition for commoncrofts, had overseen the translation of 'Chainsaw Friend' back into English.

I was right: it was much better. Here, beginning with the quotation of Terence, is KETTINGZAAGVRIEND, extraordinarily repatriated. T


"I are people: I proclaim nothing to make to have with people strange for me"
--Terence, "Zelf-Pijniger"

"The one moment is you a squirrel beetje
sauce gnawing to a nipple
and a thinking none angry is possible
and the other moment lies spread your brain
concerning very the bunch."

I remind themselves that you said hunt
that then we squirrels were.
That was nevertheless terrible.
That was we entirely.

It is as if you sit now once on the top of the world,
and it are fulfilled then of vague uncertainties.

For the squirrel it is difficult
explain how such things happen:
mechanical error
a vertekening a whim of nature
never is possible you finding.

And that does not make you pisnijdig?

In any case, me regrets that I had you dead saw
but I had really that guard, guns, oar loops,
bayonets, muntstukken and what
already no longer from the civil war necessary.
(If people my disorder irritates stalks,
me that immoderate, and I realised
that this the same impact at you,
for this reason I have done what I thought must do.)

These objects are simply fabulous,
man, you had nothing vandoen with the Confederale army
(yes! your head is appropriate exactly in the bucket.)
As I said already, I weet that we always
best maatjes were our life long,
but the way you let me touch never
to your guns, oar loops and bayonets, however,
which annoyed me enormously,
and I realised myself that you
very inadequate there life approach on kept.

Consequently zaagde you
by my best old friend
already seem I that now, however,
strangely looking at to this treasure
and the mixture with cement
meantime thinking of our involvement with the squirrels
in Kenosha
and the strange things which rose then in your head...
You were right then with that gezegde of you:
"life is the ultimate sacrifice"
friend, who is truth.

But stopper with that gelul now,
I must hurry myself I but not my car
keys have left behind in Missouri!